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Chaplins
assist those nearing end. It (death) is really not an end of life,
but a beginning.
April 10, 2004
- Reported in the Tyler
Morning Telegraph. In some ways, Easter at Hospice of East Texas
is like any other day. On the other hand, days at Hospice are very
out of the ordinary. Passing from one world to the next is what
Easter, and Hospice, are all about. When
it comes to death, transition or "passing," the chaplains
at Hospice of East Texas are there to assist, to support, or to
simply be a silent presence. Many times they also observe how people
leave this world, and they say their reflections have led them to
a deeper meaning of Easter.
"The end
of this life is not a time to give up hope," said Chaplain
Dennis Harvey, a 10-year Hospice veteran. "We want to encourage
life and see to it our patients live to the fullest. We hold out
the hope for those who have the faith that God can move and do things
at any time. There is never a time to say the situation is hopeless
even if you're very close to the end."
Entire families
grasp that concept, he said. "It (death) is really not an end
of life, but a beginning of a new one for those who have faith,"
Harvey said, "and so often families are able to see that transition
(for themselves) as their relatives begin to pass."
The passing
becomes very meaningful, he said. "It is one of those fabulous
times to be with the patient as they begin to actually see loved
ones (who have previously died) waiting for them. They are not hallucinating
but are in those last stages, flowing in and out of this world.
They're seeing things, I believe wholeheartedly, that are there.
In that limbo, they're starting to get a glimpse of that next
life. It's a very natural, natural part of the process as they begin
to make that transition. Life's not ending, it's moving to another
realm."
The chaplains'
job, Harvey said, is to support and assist the patients, regardless
of their faith or lack thereof. "If I'm asked about what I
believe, then I won't shy away from it," he said. "People
have all kinds of questions." The
chapel at Hospice has a book that residents write in for prayer
requests. There are various religious symbols available at the chapel
for people of different faiths. Brian Porr, the in-house chaplain,
checks the book daily for the written requests and visits he will
make. Porr, who has been with Hospice for 16 months, describes it
as "the best job I ever had," and "a calling - more
than just work."
"It reinforces
my faith when I see the way some people pass," Porr said. "It
is not uncommon to hear them say that they see loved ones who have
passed before them, or reach out because they see someone reaching
out to them." He said he has a strong response when he sees
that. "I just say 'Thank God that he is there for us' when
that happens," he said. "When I see someone reaching for
heaven and speaking the name of some who have passed before, or
God, it just reaffirms my faith. I can't see beyond, and I don't
know what they can see at the point, but they are seeing something."
EASTER 'DEPTH'
Easter becomes
the 'background fabric' for the final transition of life, they said.
"Obviously Easter brings deeper awareness, that this is the
basis for all our hope," Harvey said, "especially for
those who are sitting right here on the doorstep of eternal life
with life-and-death issues. The season brings about the assurance
of hope, promise and realization that we're putting our faith, in
a very real sense, on the line." And
Porr, too, has heard the stories from his patients.
"I've
the privilege to speak to three or four people who have had near-death
experiences who have come back," he said. "They relate
that they visited a place of incredible peace, calm and beauty.
They wanted to stay but were told they had to come back."
One incident
in particular, at another hospital where he worked, stands out.
"A woman (was passing) and saw a very old man in very white
robes who just emitted light. She said it felt so warm and comforting
and he told her she would be back but first she had to return to
earth. She had been in a coma for three days and doctors said
she would never wake up," he said. But she did. "She came
out of it, and she shared that story," he said. "It makes
you stop and think. You can't take things for granted when you hear
things like that. It's a 'whoa' experience."
Both Harvey
and Porr said being at Hospice makes the depth of the Easter observance
hit home. "The work here makes you center on what is really
important about Easter," Harvey said. "You realize how
important the resurrection really is and the magnitude of the birth
and resurrection of Christ. You center on meaning of Easter and
what is truly important. Everything else around it, like Easter
egg hunts, fall aside as trivial."
Harvey said
he has been present countless times as people have passed away in
his 10 years at Hospice. "One time a lady (about to 'pass')
saw the child she had miscarried years ago, waiting for her and
her son, who had died previously. They hollered out to her that
it was OK, that it was them and they were waiting for her, but it
was not her time yet. She didn't die, and it was about three
weeks later she passed.' Those (kinds of) experiences are very common,"
Harvey said, "for people to see and talk to loved ones."
Another time
there was a young child in transition. "He didn't speak for
a long time," Harvey said. "All of a sudden he opened
his eyes and said to his mother, 'They're here for me. I love you,'
and those were his last words. We assumed there were angels coming
for him, and the mother was very comforted by it."
Another time,
a patient already knew that close friends had died. "One family
came to visit their mother and she said, 'How come you didn't tell
me sister so-and-so had died? She came to see me last night and
told me she was fine and that I would see her soon.'" Those
are confirmations to Harvey. "I think it's a tremendous
affirmation that God is active," he said. "God
is here and we don't understand the whys or the things that happen,
but that there is definitely a God, eternal life is real and it
reassures that point of faith."
THE PRECIOUS
PRESENT
There are countless
other examples, he said. "As hard as this is to go through
this time of coming separation," Harvey said, "to have
the reassurance, the promise that this is not the end and we will
be together again because of Easter, is a great comfort to many
families." It is not a time to sit back and wait for the end,
he said. "If there are things to do, families to see, relationships
to rebuild, things needed to be said to each other that you want
to say and clarify issues, there is still time," he said. "We
try to get that done."
The whole process
can actually be hopeful, Porr said. "The entire experience
depends on a person's outlook," he said. "In my experience,
people who have faith to back them up have an easier time of it
than those who don't. The same goes for the family members."
"The people I've
gotten to know what their most important thoughts are, their deepest
secrets they've shared with me, have made working these last 10
years with Hospice tremendously rewarding," Harvey said. "Yes,
it's sad, too, but our focus is on the here and now. We don't talk
in terms of planning for the future because the present is the most
precious."
"Death
recognizes no holidays," Porr said, "and God knows what
it's like to sit in vigil for a relative who's dying. In a sense
it's always Easter around here because it's all about passing and
what happens next."
Visit the Hospice
of East Texas website.
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